Sleeping Like a Baby

"Get your sleep now, 'cause it'll be only a memory soon." "Sleep when the baby sleeps." "You'll be soo tired." Every expectant couple hears these intimidating pronouncements so often, they can start losing sleep before Baby arrives.

So how bad is it, really? How long does it last? Babywise says "Healthy, full-term babies typically are born with the capacity to achieve seven to eight hours of continuous nighttime sleep between seven and nine weeks." Oh, was that music to my worried, pregnant ears! And let me encourage you too: it's true! Sleep is a skill that must be taught, but it's definitely doable in a reasonable amount of time. Some babies may achieve the 7-8 hours of continuous sleep a little later, but most can do it by 3 months.

How did it work for us? Well, I'm an orderly person and all those pronouncements sure scared me so I when I was pointed to Babywise, I read it all the way through before our baby was born. Twice. Then when Junior was born, even before we brought him home from the hospital, I fed him every three hours. That was especially easy in the beginning because he was so tired from being born he would sleep until I woke him up every time. Babywise encourages parents to focus on keeping a newborn awake long enough to take a full feeding. Gradually those wakeful periods lengthen out.

At home, I stuck to that 3 hour routine of feeding, diaper changing, playing a little, then sleep. It worked pretty well, but there were some hiccups. If Baby woke up before the next feeding time but close and seemed hungry, I'd go ahead and feed him. If it hadn't been very long, I figured something else was the problem and worked to help him get back to sleep.

At night, we didn't play with him after the feeding. Just a quick diaper change and back to bed for everybody. We've been blessed with a baby who requires a lot of sleep anyway, so that was never really difficult.

Now our son, David, was born small (5 lbs 4 oz) and sometimes would sleep too long because he was working so hard on growing. So I set the alarm to make sure I fed him every 3 hours at night... until he got to be about 9 lbs. or so. Then I'd feed him before I went to bed and just let him sleep as long as he wanted. Gradually, he started to lengthen out his nighttime feedings. We went from waking up twice at night to once around 8 weeks. Then he would sleep until 4:30 or 5 AM at 3 months. By 4 months, David slept like a baby at night - 12 hours of continuous sleep.

It's a sweet sweet thing! Every baby is different. The journey to "sleeping through the night" is rough on parents no matter what. But it is achievable in a reasonable amount of time. Good sleep habits can be taught.

RESOURCES

Babywise


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The Structured Baby

Does that sound like an oxymoron? Well, in a way it is. Baby is born into the world knowing nothing but the comfort of the womb with its sleepy darkness and all-night buffet. Then he makes it to your arms, looking a little dazed and squished.

Now comes the real work. As Mom and Dad, it is our job to teach Baby what life is like. We have a daily structure for eating, sleeping and the like. Baby will need one too. Only he doesn’t know what that should be. If we let him take the lead, we will end up swapping day for night and living a chaotic, exhausting, child-centered life indefinitely. Baby doesn’t really know what is best for him, so we must help him.

How? Well the answer is in the order of baby’s activities. When he’s first born, Baby’s “day” is roughly 3 hours long, and broken into three activities: eating, activity, and sleeping. The trick is to keep it in that order: (1) eat, (2) activity, (3) sleep. This helps Baby to develop normal patterns of hunger and sleep. It also helps parents discern Baby’s needs.

With a newborn, it should only take gentle coaxing to help this natural routine to fall into place. Work to keep Baby awake when you feed him so he has a good meal, rather than a small snack. At the beginning, this can take some doing. Gently rub his arms and belly. Change a diaper in the middle of feeding if necessary. Those first feedings should take about 20-40 minutes.

While a disordered baby’s needs rule his parents’ lives, a structured baby can be welcomed into the existing family. What a wonderful way to begin Baby’s life!

RESOURCES:

Babywise

Secrets of the Baby Whisperer

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